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What Type of Reader Are You? Part 2

After sharing Samuel Coleridge's categories of a reader earlier (the post below) and after seeing the strain-bag type, I asked myself "How about the Douche Bag types out there?" as there are evidently some types of "readers" that easily annoy us in varying degrees. We encounter them in our house, school, workplace, in MRT/LRT, bus, jeepney, the cyberspace, etc. They represent the Other Types of Readers that we dread to face sometime in our lives but they will always surround us in abundance since this world is already populated with 7 billion people. For reasons of amusement and reminder to stay in the right side of the Reading Force, let's take a look at them one by one...

1. The Clone - A reader who agrees with everything he reads. He also copies  the style of his favorite author, including the gesture and the bad hair. He believes he is the perfect DNA replicant of his favorite author including his idol's IQ.

2. The Proofreader -  If you ask him about his current read, his answer is most likely "The comma is misplaced somewhere in chapter 4, page 238, line 27." The kind of reader who checks every misspelled word and wrong placement of colon, dash, semicolon, comma, apostrophe, italics, caps, and so on, and so forth...

3. The Incomplete - His reading is always partial. After reading the first ten pages of a book he swaps it and read the first chaper of a new one, and then turn to book no.3 only to read up until midway and then turns to book no.4 and the cycle goes on and on, and on...

4. The Lawyer - Also known as the Attorney, he retraces historical and logical fallacies, propaganda, and politically incorrect terms. The kind of reader that does not agree with everything he reads and the hardest one to please, he is a tough nut to crack and a diligent cross-examiner. Fundamentalist by ideology, his opinion is always right and absolute. This makes him the opposite of the Clone and a severe case of the Proofreader.

5. The Douche Bag - A completely useless reader.

6. The Cheater - He declares reading the book complete from cover to cover but in reality, he only reads book reviews, wikipedia articles, blog posts, and overheard comments in public places. He can also be called the Googler.

7. The Poser - You can easily spot him in public places cradling a thick, popular book of the moment, especially when the film adaptation is currently featured, or about to be shown in cinemas. His gesture is "Look world, I'm a nerd! I'm reading the most popular book on the planet and I'm cool!" as he sways and swaggers in public display of his ultra-thick book. What makes him a poser is that he actually does not read books, he just like displaying them in public.



DOUCHE BAGS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!!!

image source:
the poser

What Type of Reader Are You?

"Readers may be divided into four classes:
1. Sponges, who absorb all that they read and return it in nearly the same state, only a little dirtied.
2. Sand-glasses, who retain nothing and are content to get through a book for the sake of getting through the time.
3. Strain-bags, who retain merely the dregs of what they read.
4. Mogul diamonds, equally rare and valuable, who profit by what they read, and enable others to profit by it also."

Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834)


image sources:
sponge, sand-glass, strain-bag, diamond

Reading List of 30

01 - Your Favorite Book

FOUCAULTS PENDULUM by Umberto Eco

02 - Least Favorite Book

CONAN THE BARBARIAN by L Sprague de Camp and L Carter

03 - A Book that completely surprised you (bad/good)

THE POWER AND THE GLORY by Graham Greene

04 - A Book that reminds you of home

BARRIOTIC PUNK by Mes De Guzman

05 - A Non-fiction book that you actually enjoyed

TIME FLIES by Bill Cosby

06 - A Book that makes you cry

NIGHT by Elie Wiesel (this is a holocaust memoir)

07 - A Book that’s hard to read

---(it aint a book if its hard to read...)

08 - An unpopular book you believe should be a Best-Seller

THE SUMMER OF KATYA by Trevanian

09 - A Book you’ve read more than once

THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN by Mitch Albom

10 - The first novel you remember reading

LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding

11 - The Book that made you fall in love with reading

THE HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER by Tom Clancy

12 - A book so emotionally draining you couldn’t complete it or had to set aside for a bit

THE RAPE OF NANKING by Iris Chang

13 - Favorite childhood book

THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES by Hans Christian Andersen

14 - Book that should be on hs/college required reading list

THE BOOK OF FIVE RINGS by Musashi Miyamoto

15 - Favorite book dealing with foreign culture

SHIBUMI by Trevanian

16 - Favorite book turned movie

THE LORD OF THE RINGS by JRR TOLKIEN

17 - Book turned movie and completely desecrated

DUNE by Frank Herbert

18 - A Book you can’t find on shelves anymore that you love

BARRIOTIC PUNK by Mes De Guzman

19 - A Book that changed your mind about a particular subject (non-fiction)

TO SUFFER THY COMRADES by Robert Francis Garcia

20 - A Book you would recommend to an ignorant/racist/closed minded person

MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING by Viktor Frankl

21 - A guilty pleasure book

THE GAME by Neil Strauss

22 - Favorite Series (Edit)

The LOTR Trilogy by JRR Tolkien

23 - Favorite Romance Novel

--- (this is weird, i hate romance books. better ask me of a porn novel instead!)

24 - A Book you later found out the Author lied about

AN IDEOLOGY FOR THE FILIPINOS by Ferdinand Marcos

25 - Favorite Autobiographical/Biographical book

MAN'S SEARCH FOR MEANING by Viktor Frankl

26 - A Book you wish would be written

I'm thinking of a novel about a group of assassins formed after a series of brutal rape and slaying of a Filipina working abroad

27- A Book you would write if you had all the resources

This may be foolish but I used to imagine about the spirits of Rock n Roll masters who died early in their career making a comeback and creating a terrible mess, a terrible void against the world of the living, the world that adores Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga...

28 - A Book you wish you never read

---(that book does not exist!)

29 - An Author that you completely avoid/hate wont read

STEPHENIE MEYER

30 - An Author that you will read whatever they put out

NEIL GAIMAN

note: my shelfari group inspired me to make and update this list and damn, i missed writing a list like this!

Not a Fad Reader? Absolutely!

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader   You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Literate Good Citizen
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Book Snob
Fad Reader
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz