After sharing Samuel Coleridge's categories of a reader earlier (the post below) and after seeing the strain-bag type, I asked myself "How about the Douche Bag types out there?" as there are evidently some types of "readers" that easily annoy us in varying degrees. We encounter them in our house, school, workplace, in MRT/LRT, bus, jeepney, the cyberspace, etc. They represent the Other Types of Readers that we dread to face sometime in our lives but they will always surround us in abundance since this world is already populated with 7 billion people. For reasons of amusement and reminder to stay in the right side of the Reading Force, let's take a look at them one by one...
1. The Clone - A reader who agrees with everything he reads. He also copies the style of his favorite author, including the gesture and the bad hair. He believes he is the perfect DNA replicant of his favorite author including his idol's IQ.
2. The Proofreader - If you ask him about his current read, his answer is most likely "The comma is misplaced somewhere in chapter 4, page 238, line 27." The kind of reader who checks every misspelled word and wrong placement of colon, dash, semicolon, comma, apostrophe, italics, caps, and so on, and so forth...
3. The Incomplete - His reading is always partial. After reading the first ten pages of a book he swaps it and read the first chaper of a new one, and then turn to book no.3 only to read up until midway and then turns to book no.4 and the cycle goes on and on, and on...
4. The Lawyer - Also known as the Attorney, he retraces historical and logical fallacies, propaganda, and politically incorrect terms. The kind of reader that does not agree with everything he reads and the hardest one to please, he is a tough nut to crack and a diligent cross-examiner. Fundamentalist by ideology, his opinion is always right and absolute. This makes him the opposite of the Clone and a severe case of the Proofreader.
5. The Douche Bag - A completely useless reader.
6. The Cheater - He declares reading the book complete from cover to cover but in reality, he only reads book reviews, wikipedia articles, blog posts, and overheard comments in public places. He can also be called the Googler.
7. The Poser - You can easily spot him in public places cradling a thick, popular book of the moment, especially when the film adaptation is currently featured, or about to be shown in cinemas. His gesture is "Look world, I'm a nerd! I'm reading the most popular book on the planet and I'm cool!" as he sways and swaggers in public display of his ultra-thick book. What makes him a poser is that he actually does not read books, he just like displaying them in public.
DOUCHE BAGS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!!!
image source:
the poser
1. The Clone - A reader who agrees with everything he reads. He also copies the style of his favorite author, including the gesture and the bad hair. He believes he is the perfect DNA replicant of his favorite author including his idol's IQ.
2. The Proofreader - If you ask him about his current read, his answer is most likely "The comma is misplaced somewhere in chapter 4, page 238, line 27." The kind of reader who checks every misspelled word and wrong placement of colon, dash, semicolon, comma, apostrophe, italics, caps, and so on, and so forth...
3. The Incomplete - His reading is always partial. After reading the first ten pages of a book he swaps it and read the first chaper of a new one, and then turn to book no.3 only to read up until midway and then turns to book no.4 and the cycle goes on and on, and on...
4. The Lawyer - Also known as the Attorney, he retraces historical and logical fallacies, propaganda, and politically incorrect terms. The kind of reader that does not agree with everything he reads and the hardest one to please, he is a tough nut to crack and a diligent cross-examiner. Fundamentalist by ideology, his opinion is always right and absolute. This makes him the opposite of the Clone and a severe case of the Proofreader.
5. The Douche Bag - A completely useless reader.
6. The Cheater - He declares reading the book complete from cover to cover but in reality, he only reads book reviews, wikipedia articles, blog posts, and overheard comments in public places. He can also be called the Googler.
7. The Poser - You can easily spot him in public places cradling a thick, popular book of the moment, especially when the film adaptation is currently featured, or about to be shown in cinemas. His gesture is "Look world, I'm a nerd! I'm reading the most popular book on the planet and I'm cool!" as he sways and swaggers in public display of his ultra-thick book. What makes him a poser is that he actually does not read books, he just like displaying them in public.
DOUCHE BAGS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!!!
image source:
the poser
Oh no, could I be considered The Douche Bag? At least am not the poser. Hehe.
ReplyDeleteI consider myself a Douche Bag Reader too--when it comes to romance novels!
ReplyDelete