The Emperor's New Book


After buying the copy of Al Hazred's Necronomicon from a black market in Diliman last July, I instantly crashed into a Twilight Zone territory. The case is similar with my recent buy, a book authored by an American psychologist Dr. Alan Francis. But this time the weird stuff comes not from the content and substance of the book but from its emptiness. Something is missing. You see, the title of the book itself is enough to catch my attention to pick it up from the shelf but as I was scanning the pages each of them is entirely blank, nothing is printed not even a word nor a scratch is written on it.

A layman can easily explain that it was clearly a misprint from the publishing house but what really hit me is how the title coincidentally gave an apt meaning to the empty book. Does this "everything" that us men and old retards know about women actually means NOTHING or VOID, or perhaps NULLIFIED? Does it mean that the paperback I am holding is actually a reality in disguise? A sarcasm? A joke?

It may not mean anything to you but I consider the book's discovery as an Aha! moment. Maybe magic ink (ala Harry Potter) or Masonic ink (ala Da Vinci Code) is involved but so far, my interest lies in the fact that it's a tome that's supposed to inform the reader on what men know about women and looking at that blank pages, the assumption might still hold true.

But the greatest revelation of all is that after searching through the internet, it's official that the blank book was published as intended--- a blank book.

It is now lying on my shelf and part of my wicked archive, Category X. A book of void or a book of nonsense that costs only 40 pesos and still has its own hidden meaning--- tripping, floating, drifting somewhere in the consciousness of a human psyche.

Looking at it once tempted me to write or draw something into the blank pages but maybe it's better if I just leave the book as it is. After all this is the Emperor's New Book.

A title interesting enough for my reality check...

Hmmmm... Looks neat.

Wait, something is missing!

Aww s#!t, Category X!

Rating: 4 packets of salted peanuts out of 5 (80%)
Genre: Humor


  1. Was it a page-turner, narj? hahahaha. I wonder where I can get a pdf ...

  2. haha... mejo nakakainis na nakakatawa ang idea ng publisher


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